


Esse Quam Videri Vignettes

by torino10154



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Frottage, Hand Jobs, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence, Oral Sex, Slash, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2008-09-08
Updated: 2016-12-30
Packaged: 2017-10-11 12:45:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 10,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/112550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/torino10154/pseuds/torino10154
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of vignettes written in my <i>Esse Quam Videri</i> Universe. They likely will make much more sense if you've read the original fic. I don't consider this a WIP-I add a chapter if and when they speak to me so it's neither finished nor to be continued.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Enough For Now

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Esse Quam Videri (To Be Rather Than to Seem)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22879) by [torino10154](https://archiveofourown.org/users/torino10154/pseuds/torino10154). 



  
  
  
  


  
  
  
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**Title:** Enough For Now  
**Word Count:** 200  
**Rating:** G  
**Pairing/Prompt:** [](http://drachenmina.insanejournal.com/profile)[**drachenmina**](http://drachenmina.insanejournal.com/) requested a bit from my [Esse Quam Videri](http://torino10154.insanejournal.com/11223.html) universe. I hope this is acceptable.  
**Warning:** Wee bit of angst  
**A/N:** The last of the fifteen [Anniversary Drabbles](http://torino10154.insanejournal.com/tag/anniversary+drabbles) I promised to write. Whew! Also thanks to [](http://accioslash.insanejournal.com/profile)[**accioslash**](http://accioslash.insanejournal.com/) for a good conversation.

  
"Harry, there is no moving forward for us. This is all we have," Severus said tonelessly.

"But I want us to stay together," Harry said, knowing he sounded whiny but he couldn't help it. He'd never felt like this about anyone and his heart felt like it was breaking.

"One day soon, you'll find a nice girl and get married. Men like us have no choice." Taking a deep drag off his cigarette, he continued, "I've been living a lie for many years. The truth could get me killed, have no doubt about that."

"My father said—" Harry started but Severus cut across him.

"If he knows, your mother told him to keep his mouth shut." His eyes drifted away slightly, softening. "She would do that for me."

"Let's run away then. Somewhere up north. A big city. No one would ever find us." Harry's heart pounded in his chest. _Yes, this was just the thing._

"It isn't possible," Severus said turning Harry's face to his. "You have no money, no place to go. If nothing else, what about your mother?"

Harry knew he was right; he couldn't leave. He grasped Severus's hand in his.

"This is enough. For now."


	2. All Hallow's Eve

  
  
  
  
  
  
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**Title:** All Hallow's Eve  
**Rating:** PG  
**Word Count:** ~780  
**Pairing:** Severus/Harry  
**Disclaimer:** Not mine. They belong to JKR.  
**A/N:** Unbeta'd. Written for [](http://accioslash.insanejournal.com/profile)[**accioslash**](http://accioslash.insanejournal.com/) who prompted me with "Severus/Harry James, Halloween." When I took the prompt in October, it was seasonal. Now, of course, it's rather untimely. I apologize for the delay. The setting is from my [_Esse Quam Videri_](http://torino10154.insanejournal.com/11223.html) universe.

Grandfather Evans's annual Halloween party was always one of the best things about autumn, Harry James thought as he pulled on his old baseball uniform. Fortunately it still fit, as he hadn't grown much since his senior year of high school.

His parents were dressed in their nightclothes: his mother in curlers and bathrobe and his father had a pillow stuffed under his pajama top and left his face unshaven. With hair like he had, it always looked like he'd just rolled out of bed if he didn't oil it, so there was no change there.

They would bob for apples and have a pumpkin-carving contest for the little ones. His grandmother would make popcorn balls, which were one of his favorite snacks.

This year he really had wanted to spend it with Severus. His boyfriend, or lover he thought blushing, had been invited as an employee of the funeral home. Harry told him to dress as a vampire so he could suck Harry's neck, among other things. But Severus had refused saying he was uncomfortable. Whether it was because of him or just the general socializing, Harry didn't know.

~*~

A little after ten, Harry decided to call it a night. He went inside to say his good-byes and stopped dead in his tracks. Severus was standing there speaking to Grandfather Evans.

"Harry James," his grandfather said, beckoning him over. "Let me introduce you to my newest employee."

Harry stared at Severus keeping his face as blank as possible but he could see that Severus was amused. He was dressed in tight blue jeans, black leather boots and jacket to match with only a plain white T-shirt underneath. A comb stuck out of his back pocket as his hair was slicked back.

Harry had to fight not to bite his lip. Severus looked incredible.

"Harry James, this is Severus Snape. Severus, my grandson, Harry James Potter." Severus extended his hand and Harry shook it a frisson of desire shooting straight up his spine. "Severus has become quite an asset at the funeral home. You know he and your mother were both Gamma Sigma Epsilon in high school. Our Lily was the first girl in the society."

Harry turned his grandfather out and looked at Severus, feeling quite puzzled. Of course he knew Severus had gone to school with his parents but he hadn't realized how well his mother must have known him, if they were in the Chemistry Honor Society together.

He also wondered what Severus had said and done at work to have his grandfather singing his praises. Last he recalled his grandfather had grudgingly hired Severus and his father, James, was attacking Severus's reputation. Maybe that had been for his father's benefit.

"Harry James?" his grandfather said, pulling Harry from his ruminations.

"Sorry, Grandfather, I lost my train of thought," Harry said abashed as being so lost in thought.

"Well, you'd better catch it," his grandfather said laughingly. "I was asking if you'd seen your mother."

"She and dad," Harry noticed the slight change in Severus's expression at the mention of his father, "were sitting under the magnolia tree when I saw them last."

Harry and Severus both watched Grandfather Evans walk out the door to the back yard.

"What are you doing here?" Harry hissed once his grandfather was out the door.

"Attending my employer's party. Isn't it obvious?" Severus smirked as he sipped the liberally spiked punch.

"You said you weren't coming." Harry looked around to see if anyone was watching them but it seemed the rest of the partygoers were drinking and dancing happily.

"I changed my mind," Severus replied without elaborating further.

"When can I see—" Harry was cut off when his parents walked into the room. He automatically took two steps back from Severus and immediately hated himself for it. The look on his father's face was murderous. Harry didn't dare look at Severus.

His mother pulled herself closer to James. Harry could see she was running her hand over his forearm, soothing him. His father's expression suggested the wheels of his mind were spinning fast enough to burn rubber. He looked from Harry to Severus, his eyes narrowing. About to take a step toward them, James stopped when Grandfather Evans entered the room again.

"I'd like everyone to gather in the garden so we can judge the costumes and jack-o'-lanterns." He turned and held the door open for the other guests. Lily looked at Harry, brows slightly furrowed, before leading James outside.

Exhaling after what seemed like hours, Harry turned to face Severus.

But he was gone.

Knowing there was nothing he could do now anyway about either Severus or his father, Harry grabbed a candy apple off the table and headed outside.


	3. February 14, 1958

  
  
  
  


  
  
  
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**Title:** February 14, 1958  
**Word Count:** 100 x 6  
**Rating:** G  
**Pairing:** Severus/Harry  
**Disclaimer:** Not mine. They belong to JKR.  
**A/N:** Written for [](http://accioslash.insanejournal.com/profile)[**accioslash**](http://accioslash.insanejournal.com/) who prompted me with Valentine's Day in my AU [_Esse Quam Videri_](http://torino10154.insanejournal.com/11223.html) universe.

Harry James watched with envy as his mother arranged a dozen red roses in a vase and put them on the table in the foyer before she headed back into the kitchen. Not that he wanted roses. Or chocolates or jewelry or any of those things that women seemed to require. It was the principle of the thing. He and Severus would never be able to be so open. Everything had to be done in secret- even exchanging Christmas gifts.

"Harry James?" his mother called out. "Would you mind running these canned tomatoes over to your grandfather at the parlor?"

~*~

_Severus_! He was at work and now he had an excuse to see him. He grinned as his mother held out the cardboard box. Speaking sotto voce she said with a wink, "Don't be too long now."

He hopped into his brand new-well, it was new to him anyway-1947 Ford Super Deluxe. It needed some work but it was his.

When he pulled into the parking lot, Severus was outside smoking. Harry knew Severus liked to get away from the other employees to get some peace and quiet. The secretary, Rita, was both a chatterbox _and_ a gossip.

~*~

Harry could never get over how gorgeous Severus looked in the black suit he wore when he wasn't working in the back. It was quite somber but it was perfect for the dark-haired man.

He frowned when he realized Severus had a flower in his lapel. How sad that someone was having a funeral on Valentine's Day. Harry lifted the heavy carton from the front seat and made his way toward the back door. Anyone watching them would see how they were looking at each other.

"Severus."

"Mr. Potter." Severus inclined his head slightly in deference to the owner's grandson.

~*~

"No one can see us, Severus," Harry muttered. "Give me a hand with the box, would you?"

Severus left the cigarette dangling from his lips and took the carton from Harry. Harry opened the back door and was immediately greeted by the secretary.

"Oh, Harry James! It's _so_ nice to see you. You're so grown up now. What _is_ your mother feeding you?" She gave him a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.

"It's nice to see you too, Ms. Skeeter. Have you seen my grandfather?" Harry walked toward the man's office.

"He's visiting the grieving family, Harry James."

~*~

Severus set the box down on the floor and put his cigarette out in the secretary's ashtray. She glared daggers at him but Harry knew he didn't care and had to fight the smile that threatened to erupt.

"I'll just take these to his office then." Harry bent to pick them up and when he rose Severus's eyes were on him.

"Allow me, Mr. Potter." He took the box again, brushing their hands against one another as he did.

"That's right. Let _him_ do some work." She opened the drawer of her desk and pulled out an acid-green nail file.

~*~

Following Severus into the office, Harry started to shut the door.

"No," Severus mouthed. He set the box down on the floor then slowly approached Harry, one eye on the secretary.

"Happy Valentine's Day," Harry said as they embraced for a single moment behind the door.

"Nonsense. It's a day for wives with curlers in their hair to demand all manner of things from their long suffering husbands."

Harry snorted. He said good-bye to Rita and didn't look back.

Although there _was_ a spring in his step as he made his way to the car, if one looked for it.


	4. Truce

  
  
  
  
  
  
**Title:** Truce  
**Pairing:** Severus/Harry  
**Word Count:** ~590  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Warnings:** MPREG (say _what_? *g*)  
**Disclaimer:** Not mine. They belong to JKR.  
**A/N:** A very belated gift for [](http://accioslash.insanejournal.com/profile)[**accioslash**](http://accioslash.insanejournal.com/)'s birthday. Naturally she asked for another episode from my [AU _Esse Quam Videri_ universe](http://torino10154.insanejournal.com/tag/esse+quam+videri+universe). Only for you, honey, only for you. ;)

_"It hurts!" Harry screamed, the pain in his abdomen intensifying. He gripped Severus's hand as if his life depended on it._

"It's almost over, Harry," Severus said soothingly, which was odd in and of itself but Harry didn't care to ponder the point as another wave of pain crashed over his body. Severus continued talking, his rich voice giving Harry something to focus on besides the pain. "Soon we'll have a beautiful baby girl, with black hair and green eyes just like yours."

***

"She's perfect, Severus." Harry blinked back tears as he looked as his daughter.

"Of course she is, my Harry, she's yours. As am I," Severus said as he wrapped his arms around his husband and their baby girl. . . .

"Harry James!" his mother shrieked. "James! Something's the matter with Harry James!" Footsteps thundered into the room.

"I'll call Doc Pye," James said and ran back out of Harry's bedroom and down the stairs.

"It hurts, Mama," Harry cried, arms wrapped around himself.

"I think it's your appendix, darling. Same thing happened to your Aunt Petunia when she was fifteen or so. We'll get you to the hospital real quick." She brushed the hair off his sweaty forehead.

"Sev'rus," Harry breathed.

"Hush now. I'll phone him once we get you to the hospital," Lily soothed, rubbing circles on his back. Harry drifted off to sleep once more and dreamt of a baby girl with bright green eyes.

~*~

When Harry James awoke the pain in his stomach was finally just a dull ache. The antiseptic smell alerted him to the fact that he was in the hospital. He remembered his mother saying something about his appendix and a very painful ride to the hospital.

His eyes snapped open when he heard voices in the hall outside his room.

" . . . so help me God, Snape!" He couldn't hear a reply but he quickly shut his eyes when the door to his room opened.

A hand touched his head gently before the person sat down on the edge of the bed.

"I know you're awake, Harry," Severus said quietly.

"Severus," Harry breathed. "What are you doing here?"

"Technically I am delivering flowers on behalf of your grandfather although I suspect your mother may have suggested to him that I do it rather than his secretary." Severus's lip curled slightly. "Coincidentally I wanted to make sure you were well after your surgery."

"I'm glad you came, Severus, really," Harry said. "But, um, isn't there a lion at the gate?"

"You mean your father, I assume?" Severus asked. Harry nodded, holding his breath. "He and I have come to an understanding. For the time being I will do everything in my power to prevent our relationship from being discovered by the general populace and he will not kill me. Or you."

Harry exhaled. "That's good."

"However, I suspect once you are out of the hospital, you'll be facing a very uncomfortable conversation with him. I will understand if you'd prefer to break this off—"

"No, no. That's not what I want at all," Harry interrupted, desperation in his voice. He briefly thought of mentioning the bizarre dream he'd had, of he and Severus with a _baby_, but suddenly he yawned, overcome by exhaustion and possibly painkillers.

"You need your rest," Severus said, standing. He grasped Harry's hand once and squeezed. "I'll visit you once you are back home."

Harry nodded as he slipped into a drug-induced slumber, hoping his father would refrain from killing his only child while he slept.


	5. All Was Well: January 2007

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter of their story but it isn't the last one I'll write. If you don't want to be spoiled, skip this one for now.

  
  
  
  
  
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**Title:** All Was Well: January 2007  
**Word Count:** ~225  
**Pairing:** Severus/Harry  
**Rating:** PG  
**Warnings:***Fluffity fluff fluff*  
**Disclaimer:** Not mine. They belong to JKR.  
**A/N:** The final (although not the last) installment of my [_Esse Quam Videri_ Universe](http://torino10154.insanejournal.com/tag/esse+quam+videri+universe). ;)

Like a cat in a sunbeam, Severus was stretched out on the couch in the sunniest room in the house. Taking his early afternoon nap, his white hair fanned out from his head on the forest green pillow.

Not to be confused with his _late_ afternoon nap, Harry James thought to himself with a chuckle. Sitting down at the far end of the couch, Harry pulled Severus's feet into his lap and covered them with a blanket. He tipped his head back and shut his eyes hoping to get a few minutes rest himself.

Hearing a slight wheeze Harry woke up and checked the small oxygen tank that Severus used for his [emphysema](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emphysema). It was working properly but he found dark eyes staring at him. Severus reached for the table beside him and picked up his glasses, which he wore more often than not but it was understood that they were for reading. Harry didn't argue that point anymore.

"It's colder here," Severus intoned gruffly.

"I told you it would be when we moved [north](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Same-sex_marriage_in_Massachusetts)," Harry replied helping Severus swing his bony legs down to the floor before sitting back down next to the man. Glancing at the still gleaming platinum ring on his left hand, Harry took Severus's hand in his own. "Worth it though."

Severus nodded and squeezed Harry's hand. "Indeed."


	6. Christmas, 1958

  
  
  
  
  
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**Title:** Christmas, 1958  
**Pairing:** Severus/Harry  
**Word Count:** ~370  
**Rating:** PG  
**Warning:** Mild angst.  
**Disclaimer:** Not mine. They belong to JKR.  
**A/N:** Unbeta'd. Written for [](http://accioslash.insanejournal.com/profile)[**accioslash**](http://accioslash.insanejournal.com/) who prompted me with "Christmas with Harry James and Severus." This is part of my [AU _Esse Quam Videri_ universe](http://torino10154.insanejournal.com/tag/esse+quam+videri+universe) and may not make a bit of sense if you are unfamiliar with it. ;)

Harry sat by the picture window watching the empty street, hoping he'd see a car, someone walking, _anything_.

"Harry James?" He felt his mother's hand on his shoulder. "Are you going to have a slice of pie? It's your favorite."

"I thought he was coming," Harry said, defeated. Even though he knew it would be uncomfortable, Harry hoped having his grandfather there would keep everyone, namely his father and Severus, on their best behavior. As far as everyone else knew, Severus was just one of his Grandfather Evans' employees coming to share a bit of Christmas cheer.

"Maybe something came up," Lily said soothingly. "Up you get. Best not to keep your grandparents waiting."

Harry went back with her into the dining room where his Grandmother Evans cut him an enormous slice of sweet potato pie. He ate slowly—the pie tasted like paste in his mouth—watching as his uncle and cousin devoured an entire pie between them.

Just as he set his napkin on the table, his mouth open to ask to be excused, the phone rang.

"I wonder who that could be, calling on Christmas," his mother said, as if completely bewildered, as she rose to answer it, although his father's eyes darted straight to Harry's.

Harry strained to hear what his mother was saying but it was impossible over the chatter. As if everyone hadn't heard his uncle's jokes a thousand times before.

When his mother returned, her face was slightly pale and her expression sad. Harry's father leapt from his chair.

"What is it, Lily?" She turned away from him, Harry's hands sweating, hoping—fearing—she had news for him but her eye continued on toward her own father.

"Father, your services will be required in the morning. Severus's father passed away late last night."

Everyone was talking at once but Harry couldn't hear anything beyond the buzzing in his ears. He'd been upset that Severus hadn't come to dinner and here it was that his father had _died_. Harry didn't remember getting up from the table, nor walking up the stairs to his bedroom, but as he found himself crawling into bed, he wished more than anything he could be with Severus, just in case he needed him.


	7. Time for a Change, 1959

  
  
  
  
  
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**Title:** Time for a Change, 1959  
**Word Count:** ~1100  
**Rating:** NC-17  
**Pairing:** Severus/Harry  
**Warnings:** Soixante-neuf, smoking  
**Disclaimer:** Not mine. They belong to JKR.  
**A/N:** Written for [](http://accioslash.insanejournal.com/profile)[**accioslash**](http://accioslash.insanejournal.com/) as one of my Valentine's drabbles. She asked for 'Harry James-verse, happy ending' therefore this is another ficlet in my [AU _Esse Quam Videri_ universe](http://torino10154.insanejournal.com/tag/esse+quam+videri+universe).

"I'm going to see Severus tonight," Harry said as he finished putting away the last of the dishes from supper.

His mother smiled as she poured Harry's father a shot of bourbon. "That works out nicely then, leaves your father and I alone for a while."

Harry scrunched his nose and Lily laughed then sobered quickly. "How is Severus's mother holding up?"

"He says she's all right. She's been spending a lot of time in Scotland Neck." Harry pulled on his coat. "She has family there."

Lily kissed him on the cheek. "When should I expect you home?"

"Late."

"Say good-bye to your father on your way out." Harry nodded and made his way from the kitchen to the living room where his father dozed in his favorite chair.

"Dad," Harry said quietly half hoping he wouldn't wake. He was quite used to the fact that Harry was seeing Severus after nearly two years but he still seemed to hope it would all go wrong and that Harry would decide to marry the redhead next door just like he had.

His mother came in and rested a hand on his father's shoulder. "James?"

James opened his eyes and smiled lovingly at his wife. Harry almost wanted to turn away, the fact that he'd never quite have what they did struck him painfully.

"I'm going out, Dad," Harry said calmly, recovering with the knowledge that at least he was on his way to see Severus.

His father looked him up and down for a moment then gave him a nod. "Not too late, Harry James."

"Don't wait up," Harry replied and headed for the door. He walked with a spring in his step, although the night was chilly, and it took no time to make it to Severus's house. As he approached he saw the curtains flutter and knew Severus had been watching for him. Just as he was about to knock on the door, it opened and Severus ushered him in, closing and locking the door behind him.

"Happy Valentine's day, Severus," Harry grinned as Severus pulled him close.

"Sentimental fool," he muttered in reply as he began biting at Harry's neck.

"Don't leave any marks." Harry tipped his head back, running his hands through Severus's hair, inhaling the scent of him.

"We'd best get you out of these clothes and I'll leave a few where no one but you and I can find them." Severus removed Harry's winter coat and tossed it onto the threadbare sofa before moving his hands to the buttons of Harry's shirt.

Harry looked around and didn't like the idea of anyone peeking though the window.

"Should we go in the bedroom?"

Severus moved quietly down the hall and pulled Harry into his bedroom. They took their time undressing, Severus licking and kissing his way down Harry's chest, occasionally stopping a sucking hard to leave a mark on Harry's smooth skin.

"Wait," Harry said just as Severus began to suck his length into his mouth. Severus stopped immediately and opened his mouth likely to ask what was wrong but Harry cut him off. "I want to suck you, too."

Severus's lip curled into a smile. "By all means." Harry swung his head around so he could suck Severus at the same time, each of them on his side, one leg under his head for a pillow, the other resting on his shoulder.

Harry knew by now that Severus loved for him to play with his balls while Harry gave him a blowjob and Severus in turn teased Harry's opening with a finger. They moved as one, giving and taking pleasure. Harry began rocking his hips forward, sucking harder as he tried to bring Severus with him over the edge.

There was nothing like having Severus in his mouth while he bucked and spurted his own release down Severus's throat. Harry always came first although he suspected it was a bit of a game to Severus, not that he minded.

Severus worked his shaft, sucked him down to the root and pushed his finger inside Harry far enough for Harry to see stars and come in several spurts, gasping and moaning around Severus's length before he redoubled his effort and sucked as hard as he could. Severus fucked his face roughly for less than a minute before filling Harry's mouth with his salty come.

Harry licked the last droplets from the softening member as Severus did the same. After a few moments Harry pulled off and turned his body back around so they could settle together against the sheets. Severus pulled a thin wool blanket over them as Harry fought not to drift off. He wanted to spend every moment with Severus's strong arms wrapped around him.

"Harry?"

"Mmm?" Harry nestled closer, resting his head on Severus's shoulder.

"My mother's selling the house, moving back home." Severus's voice was hard to read. Harry tried to stay calm hoping it didn't mean Severus was leaving with her although, really they'd made no promises and they could never be together like a proper couple.

"Oh? Will you be going with her then?" Harry was proud his voice didn't shake. Maybe this was why Severus was so hungry for him when he walked through the door, he knew it might be the last time they were together.

"I see I need to rescue you from yourself." Harry felt Severus chuckle and lifted his head to look at him. Harry scowled.

"What are talking about?"

"I'm taking an apartment over the hardware store." Severus smiled and when Harry didn't say anything added, "I'll have my own place, Harry."

Finally putting two and two together and realizing they'd be able to spend more time alone together—so different from when they first met at the movie theater—Harry exclaimed, "That's great, Severus!"

"I thought you'd approve."

"Wait, Severus." Harry'd just thought of something horrifying. "The hardware store? My uncle's hardware store?"

"Yes, but the entrance is in the back and it's not as if he owns the apartments. They are just part of the same building on Broad Street." Severus reached for the pack of cigarettes resting on the table and pulled one out offering it to Harry.

"Nah." Harry still didn't care much for them although he had to admit after a really hard fuck, it was kind of relaxing. Severus shrugged and put it in his mouth, lighting it with his trusty Zippo lighter. Severus took a deep drag from the cigarette then pulled Harry back down to him with his other arm.

Harry closed his eyes with a sigh and fell asleep.


	8. Snape 'Manor'

  
  
  
  
  
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**Title:** Snape 'Manor'  
**Word Count:** ~380  
**Pairing:** Severus/Harry  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Disclaimer:** Not mine. They belong to JKR.  
**A/N:** Unbeta'd ('cept by the giftee *g*). Written for [](http://accioslash.insanejournal.com/profile)[**accioslash**](http://accioslash.insanejournal.com/) to accompany [Beary and Sebearus](http://accioslash.insanejournal.com/128861.html) home after they spent over three months living in my closet. :P This is another ficlet in my [AU _Esse Quam Videri_ universe](http://torino10154.insanejournal.com/tag/esse+quam+videri+universe).

Harry walked by his uncle's hardware store and quickly rounded the corner onto West King, then sneaked up the back staircase that led to Severus's new place. He knocked twice in succession then stopped and knocked twice more. The door opened a fraction, the chain lock keeping it from opening further, the occupant's face lit from behind. The door closed again and Harry heard the tinkle of the chain falling away before the door opened once more wide enough for Harry to step inside.

He took a moment to take in the small, one room apartment. Tiny kitchen to the left, the table only big enough for two. The small loveseat and armchair as well as a side table and lamp from Severus's old house sat in the 'living' room although there were no walls that divided it from the kitchen. On the right was the bed, a closet and the door that must have led to the bathroom. There was a two sided low bookcase which separated the 'bedroom' from the rest of the space.

"Welcome to Snape Manor," Severus said dryly and Harry turned and wrapped his arms around the man's neck.

"I love it!" He pressed a kiss to Severus's lips as he ran his fingers through the dark, silky hair. "We can finally be alone and not worry about—"

"We still need to worry. Your uncle is just around the corner and if you're seen coming and going in the dead of night . . . " Severus trailed off and pulled Harry close, as if to keep him safe from whatever his mind had imagined might happen. But Harry couldn't help but smile.

"Come on, show me your bedroom."

Severus raised an eyebrow. "I think you've _seen_ it already."

"I want a closer look." Harry pressed his groin forward, rutting against Severus.

"Ah, the guided tour then." Severus stepped back and took Harry's hand. "Right this way." They walked five paces and then Severus stopped.

"Here we are."

"You're a real ass, you know that?" Harry said, laughing, then threw himself on the bed. Severus's eyes heated with desire and Harry shivered in anticipation.

"_That_ is part of my charm," Severus replied as he unbuttoned his shirt and climbed onto the bed.

Running his hands over Severus's chest, Harry agreed. "That it is."


	9. Summer, 1959

  
  
  
  
  
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**Title:** Summer, 1959  
**Pairing:** Severus/Harry  
**Word Count:** ~460  
**Rating:** Soft R  
**Warnings:** Severus's POV, smoking, references to Christianity  
**Disclaimer:** Not mine. They belong to JKR.  
**A/N:** Unbeta'd. Written for [](http://accioslash.insanejournal.com/profile)[**accioslash**](http://accioslash.insanejournal.com/) for her birthday. Yes, I realize I am nearly four months late. :P Hope this works for you, hon. Part of my [Non-magic AU _Esse Quam Videri_ universe](http://torino10154.insanejournal.com/tag/esse+quam+videri+universe). It likely won't make much sense without having read the others.

The distant rumble of thunder woke Severus. He rubbed his eyes then reached for the cigarettes and lighter on the bedside table. Inhaling deeply, he held his breath then slowly released the smoke. If only he could get a cup of coffee without getting out of bed.

Running his free hand up his bare chest, he closed his eyes and thought back to the previous night. Harry sucking his dick, then later spread out before him, wide open, begging to be fucked. Kicking off the sheet that tangled his legs, Severus gave himself a quick stroke then stood, cigarette dangling from his lips. He needed to piss before he got too excited to manage it.

As he relieved himself, he looked out the small window in the bathroom, rain beginning to fall. One last puff on the cigarette, then he tossed it in the toilet before he flushed. It was still early, before six, and the sun was just beginning to brighten the sky before it had even reached the horizon.

Looking down, he noticed a mark on his hip and remembered Harry insisting on leaving it, just one where no one could see it. As one hand had been on Severus's cock as the other rolled his balls, who was he to have refused? Long fingers trailing to the spot, Severus sighed deeply.

He'd been seduced when he was younger, first by Luc, then by Tom. He had an ugly tattoo on his arm to prove it, and to remind himself of his own folly. He'd seen the light after a time but God didn't smile down on people like him. Funny how that worked. Maybe if he could get a job as a tax collector like Zacchaeus from the gospel of Luke, he'd be welcomed by the Reverend Dumbledore once more.

Somehow he doubted the good reverend was as forgiving as Jesus Christ himself had been.

Giving his bare stomach a scratch, Severus walked back to his bed but only to light another cigarette before heading to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee. As he listened to the rain, the thunder, the water percolating he realized Harry was the bright spot in his life, had given him more happiness in the past two years than he'd had in his first forty.

How long could it possibly last? Well, he'd enjoy it, enjoy _Harry_ while he could. Surely Lily, his friend from childhood, knew him well enough to know he'd already given himself away. He'd let Harry decide when to break it off, whenever he was ready to move on.

Severus poured himself a cup of coffee, adding a splash of cream, then took the cup back to bed.

The small bed seemed so large when he was the only one in it.


	10. October, 1959

**Title:** October, 1959  
**Pairing:** Severus/Harry  
**Word Count:** ~1300  
**Rating:** PG  
**Warning:** Mild angst.   
**Disclaimer:** Not mine. They belong to JKR.  
**A/N:** Written for Accioslash: my boss, partner in crime, therapist, cheerleader, and the person I share a brain with. I don't know anyone that does as much for the ship as you do, hon. ♥  
**N.B.** Unbeta'd. This is part of my [AU _Esse Quam Videri_ universe](http://torino10154.insanejournal.com/tag/esse+quam+videri+universe) and may not make a bit of sense if you are unfamiliar with it. ;)

 

The air was crisp and cold, Halloween just days away. Severus's words were still ringing in Harry's ears as he made his way home, coat pulled tightly around him.

_Severus sighed deeply. "You need to be more careful. You can't just stroll down the street and pound on my door."_

"People will get used to it. Mama and Dad already know and they're fine with us." Severus glared hard at Harry and he blushed. "All right. Dad's not fine_ but he's getting there."_

"Why don't you ask your father how he feels about people like us or, even better, how he feels about me_ in particular?"_

He'd hated leaving after arguing with Severus, especially when he felt there was more to the story than Severus was letting on, but the man shuffled him out the door, saying that he hadn't been sleeping well of late and needed to get some rest. Severus never seemed to have trouble sleeping when they'd dozed off together _after_ and he wondered whether it was just an excuse to be rid of him.

Harry had remembered that his father and Severus had never got along but he felt as if his father was making strides toward accepting their relationship. The heat with which Severus had spat those words made him wonder if there was more at play than he realized.

Noticing a light on upstairs, he opened the front door of his house as quietly as he could, hoping to slip in unnoticed. After hanging his coat, he heard his mother's slipper clad footsteps coming down the stairs.

Looking at her as she reached the bottom step, he stepped forward and was immediately ensconced in her embrace.

"Everything all right, Harry James?" she whispered into his ear before pulling back and looking at him intently. "Want to talk about it?"

"Not really," he murmured but didn't fight as she pulled him along by the wrist and sat him down on the couch.

"Did you have an argument?" Her tone was so comforting Harry felt compelled to tell her everything.

"I told him I was tired of hiding our relationship." Harry rubbed his hands over his face. "I mean it's been over two years."

"You know you can't tell anyone, Harry James," his mother said quietly. "It's just not done. You're young and don't understand these things."

"Mama, I am not a child," Harry snapped, then cringed. "Sorry."

"I only meant we've protected you, kept you safe from people that wish you ill, that would harm men like you. Severus…" Lily paused and looked away before continuing. "He knows what it's like."

Harry remembered then what Severus had said about his father. "Mama? Severus said that I should ask Dad how he feels about people like us. Then he said I should ask how Dad felt about Severus in particular." Her expression fell and her brows furrowed. "What did he mean by that, Mama?"

She looked into Harry's eyes and caressed he cheek lightly. "You know they never got along at school, Severus and your father. Your father isn't a cruel man, Harry James, but he did some things I know he's not very proud of. I should think Severus himself has a few regrets as well." Here she paused again as if deciding whether to tell him something from the way her mouth opened and then closed again.

"Has Severus ever told you about his childhood?" she finally said, taking one of his hands in hers. "About his parents? Or his…friends?"

Harry shrugged. "Not much. I know he didn't get along with his father very well but I think they made amends eventually. I don't think he's had a lot of friends. He does have a really ugly tattoo on his arm."

"What did he tell you about that?" Lily asked softly.

"That he'd fallen in with a bad crowd, that he'd regretted it not long after. He said it was one of the biggest mistakes he'd ever made."

"Too right, it was," Lily murmured, more to herself than to Harry. Her thumb was brushing back and forth over Harry's hand almost nervously. "Then he never mentioned that he and I were friends? Before I met your father?"

"What?" Harry shouted then recovered and whispered, "You were? Why didn't you say? Why didn't he?"

"I thought it might be best if he told you himself. I wouldn't want to put words in his mouth."

"You knew each other well?" Harry was still shell shocked. He couldn't believe neither of them had seen fit to tell him that they'd been friends.

"We were the best of friends, Harry James." They both turned suddenly toward the staircase as heavy footfalls indicated Harry's father was up and out of bed. Walking into the living room in his striped pajamas and messy bed head, he yawned sleepily.

"What are you two doing up?" He squinted toward the grandfather clock. "It's nearly one in the morning."

"Just having a little heart to heart with Harry James," Lily said standing, giving Harry a peck on the cheek as she rose. "I'll be right up, darling."

"All right. Night then, Harry James." He turned and headed back up the stairs as Harry replied, "Good night."

"I think you need to have a talk with Severus first, then we can talk more about why he and your father don't get along." Harry nodded, clearly hearing that the topic was closed for now.

"Night, Mama," he said as he stood and walked her to the stairs.

"Are you coming up?" she asked, looking down on him, thick red hair falling around her face.

"Not just yet. I have some thinking to do." She turned and walked slowly up the stairs, Harry watching her every step of the way.

He went and flopped down on the couch, his mind reeling. He stared up at the ceiling, more confused than ever. What had happened between James and Severus when they were in school? More worryingly, there was also the relationship between his mother and Severus to consider, although she'd always been far more understanding, she and Severus couldn't be called friends now.

When the clock struck two, Harry got up off the couch, stretching his arms over his head. As he hit the light switch his eyes were drawn to the bookshelf in the corner, where they kept their Encyclopaedia Britannica, a few novels his mother enjoyed, and his parents old high school yearbooks.

Looking over his shoulder, to make sure his parents weren't standing there watching although he knew they weren't, he slowly approached the bottom shelf, heart racing. He reached for his mother's 1931-1932 Chowan High School yearbook.

Sitting back down, he let the cover fall open and ran his fingers over the messages her friends had written on the inside cover. His aunt Petunia had signed her name, as well as Mary McDonald, Marlene McKinnon, someone Bones, as well as several teachers wishing her the best of luck in her sophomore year.

He slowly flipped through the pages, looking at the hairstyles and the shape of the glasses, until he reached the freshman class. One by one he found the names. Sirius Black, Lily Evans, Remus Lupin, James Potter, and then he finally reached the one he was both longing to see and dreading in equal measure.

Harry traced the black hair, longer than the other boys but only just, his face showing a hint of a scowl. He tapped the large nose and smiled at the picture. Next to the picture was the spiky handwriting Harry knew so well. There was no special note, just his name written over the corner of the picture. _Severus_.

Slipping the book back onto the shelf, Harry strode to the entryway, and hit the light switch, before his way up the stairs to bed.

Sleep was a long time in coming.


	11. January, 1960

**Title:** January, 1960  
**Pairing:** Severus/Harry  
**Word Count:** ~2100  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Warning:** Mild angst and violence.  
**Disclaimer:** Not mine. They belong to JKR.  
**A/N:** Unbeta'd. This is part of my [AU _Esse Quam Videri_ universe](http://torino10154.insanejournal.com/tag/esse+quam+videri+universe) and may not make a bit of sense if you are unfamiliar with it. ;)

As Harry cleared the walk in front of the house of snow his thoughts turned maudlin. Part of it was the cold and dark of winter but part of it was that he missed Severus. Here it was the ninth of January and they wouldn't be spending it together. He wasn't even completely sure where Severus was at the moment.

In October, Harry had gone to Severus's to ask him about Lily, about their school days, the very next day after he'd found his mother's old yearbook. _That_ hadn't gone over well. Even though Severus had started it all, bringing up Harry's father, it was clear Severus himself wasn't ready to talk about any of it with Harry. He'd declared that while he _had_ been friends with Lily, the past was past as if that was the final word on the subject. Rather than yell or scream, Severus shut down, stopped talking to him completely. Harry knew there was no getting anything from him when he was like that and left, absolutely nothing resolved between them.

When Harry hadn't been working during the fall—which unfortunately was often as his father's shop was pretty quiet until spring came—he worked around the house: putting in the storm windows and clearing the eaves, raking and bagging leaves, chopping firewood and stacking it by their shed in the back corner of the yard. It helped him keep his mind off things as he'd just collapse into bed exhausted at night.

Unfortunately, Severus continued to be nearly as cool as the weather. November had rolled into December and Harry realized he'd only seen Severus a handful of times. Severus was busy at work, what with the cold weather and all. Harry grimaced at the thought. He really hated it when the weather turned cold and the older folk especially seemed to pay the price.

Then it was Christmas and Severus went to spend a week or two with his mother, who he hadn't seen since she'd moved back home during the summer. Harry understood wanting to visit with family and he shouldn't have been surprised Severus would leave since there was still the underlying tension between them. It wasn't as if Severus had plans to spend Christmas with him anyway. At this point he didn't even know if they were actually together anymore. Maybe people just drifted apart, never fully explaining to each other how or why.

The entire winter seemed colder and snowier than usual. It was only early January but they were in a cycle of bad weather patterns. Snow was preferable to ice, however. A tree up the road had fallen during the last ice storm and pulled down the telephone lines just before Christmas. Nearly a week went by before everyone in town that had a phone was able to use theirs again. Fortunately the power hadn't gone out but there was plenty of wood for a fire should it happen before winter was over. He wondered whether Severus would even make it back from Scotland Neck before the next snowstorm.

Kicking the snow from his boots, Harry made his way to the house. "Need anything from Uncle Vernon's store, Mama?" Harry called from the front door. His mother came from the kitchen, wiping her hands on a rag.

"You going into town?" Harry nodded. "Could you stop by the pharmacy? I feel one of my headaches coming on."

"Anything else you need?"

"Not a thing, darling." Lily smiled. "Get going. I'm sure someone will be happy to see you."

"Don't be too sure." Harry sighed. "Besides, he's out of town, remember?"

"Hmm, your Aunt Petunia mentioned that the tenant over the store was back when I spoke to her this morning." Lily frowned at him. "Everything all right, Harry James? I'm surprised you didn't know Severus was home."

"Things are a bit—" He waved his hand in the air, unable—or unwilling—to find the word he was looking for.

"Strained?"

"Yeah, I suppose."

She took his face in her hands and reached up to kiss his cheek. "You listen here. You tell that Severus Snape that if he breaks your heart, I'm coming after him." Her green eyes were bright, her face determined, a smile played at her lips and Harry had to laugh.

"I'll tell him that, Mama."

"Good." She turned him and pushed him out the door. "Now, go!"

~*~

The snow wasn't deep and there was a peaceful silence as Harry walked into town. He saw several small snowmen, carrot noses nearly glowing orange against the white snow. A quick stop into the drugstore for his mother's headache powder and then his feet began to drag. Maybe he should just head home instead of finding out it was over between them.

Approaching the hardware store, Harry watched as his uncle hurried around the corner and then heard shouting. He took off at a run and rounded the building just as several men scattered in different directions, Uncle Vernon brandishing a baseball bat in the air and shouting.

"…the likes of you around my store again!"

Harry looked down and saw Severus on the ground, one eye swollen shut. Harry stood staring for a moment and then Uncle Vernon noticed him, walking away from Severus without a backward glance.

"Nothing to see here, Harry James."

"But—" Harry looked back at Severus then into his uncle's face. "What happened?"

"Bunch of thugs. I don't like nobody dying on the premises. Not even the likes of him," Vernon sneered. Harry still didn't move, watching as Severus stood hesitantly, wincing as he straightened up.

"Do you need a doctor?" he asked taking a step toward Severus but he just shook his head, his hair falling into his face. Harry wanted to go to him but not with his uncle still standing there watching him.

"Try to keep your _admirers_ away from my shop, Snape." Vernon turned back. "Come on, Harry James. He can take care of himself." Severus began climbing the stairs slowly and Harry made his decision.

"I'll just help him up the stairs." Harry didn't wait to hear his uncle's reply and took Severus's arm. Severus tried to shake him off but that he didn't told Harry Severus was in more pain than he'd believed at first.

"You all right, Severus?" Harry murmured.

"'M fine." Severus fumbled with his key and opened the door. Harry pushed the door closed and locked it, just to be on the safe side. Severus pulled the ice tray from the freezer and wrapped several pieces of ice in a tea towel then pressed it to his face.

"Want to tell me what that was about?" Harry asked as Severus sat down on the edge of his bed. He reached for one boot but it wasn't coming off using only one hand so Harry went over and helped him pull both his boots off.

Once his head was on the pillow, Severus spoke. "Just some old friends, reminding me of our past acquaintance. Nothing to worry about." Harry began unbuttoned Severus's shirt and gasped at the dark bruise on his side.

"Nothing to worry about? You might have broken ribs." Harry dug in the freezer and found more ice and a frozen steak. "Aren't you supposed to put meat on a black eye?" An incoherent mumble for an answer and Harry brought the steak as well as another bundle of ice. Harry took the ice from Severus's face and brushed his thumb gently over the swollen skin before putting the meat over it.

"Nothing's broken," Severus said gruffly, "I know what broken ribs feel like." Harry pressed the ice to the bruise on Severus's ribs and Severus let out a hiss of pain.

"Sorry!" Harry pulled his hand back but Severus grabbed his hand and pressed the ice to his side, holding Harry's hand down with his own. His good eye opened and Harry reached out with his free hand and caressed Severus's cheek. "Did you have a good visit with your mother?"

"She's happy there," Severus replied, his chest rising and falling shallowly.

"You'll tell me about it when you're feeling better?" Harry said softly, hand continuing to caress Severus's cheek.

Severus nodded his head, his breathing labored.

"Are you sure you don't need a doctor?" Harry asked again. "I can fetch someone real quick."

"You're the only one I want to see," Severus slurred and then seemed to drift off to sleep. Harry kicked off his shoes and curled up next to Severus. He figured he'd best stay a while in case Severus had a concussion but surely a bit of sleep wouldn't hurt him.

Besides, Harry smiled as he watched Severus's face, there was no one else he'd rather see either.

~*~

Harry realized he'd fallen asleep when he felt the bed shift as Severus got up. He jumped up and walked around to the other side of the bed.

"You need a hand?"

"You going to help me take a leak?" Severus said, his eye looking black and blue but less swollen.

"Do you _need_ me to?" Harry asked with a grin. Severus just raised an eyebrow, walking past him and going into the bathroom, firmly shutting the door behind him. Harry laughed and wandered into the kitchen area of the apartment and started some coffee in the percolator.

Harry heard the shower running and made himself comfortable while he waited, pouring himself a cup of coffee before he looked in the fridge and realized there was no milk so he added an extra spoonful of sugar instead. Severus must not have had time to stop for groceries.

When he was halfway through with his cup, and after he'd gone over in his mind how he was going to ask Severus just what on earth was going on between them, he heard the door open and Severus came out in the same clothes he'd been wearing but barefoot and wet haired.

"Can I get you anything?" Harry asked, biting his lip. Now that the drama had passed he felt a bit awkward again.

Severus poured himself a cup of coffee and turned toward the fridge.

"No milk," Harry said.

"Ah, yes." Severus then added a single scoop of sugar to his cup and stirred it slowly. He looked out the small window over the sink. "I appreciate all your help but I'm feeling much better now."

"So that's it then?" Harry said, incredulously. "'Thanks for dragging my sorry hide into the house when I couldn't walk up the god dammed stairs!'"

"Don't you get it, Harry?" Severus whipped around and looked at him but Harry cut him off before he could say anything else.

"_You_ don't get it, Severus." Harry stood and walked slowly toward him. "We can keep each other safe. The two of us together make much better odds in a fight."

Harry didn't want to touch any of the sore spots but he reached for his right hip and rested his head on his shoulder. Very slowly Severus wrapped his arm around Harry's shoulder and let his cheek rest against Harry's head.

"I don't want anyone to hurt you," Severus said into his hair.

Harry pulled back and looked him in the eyes. "Right now, the only thing hurting me is being away from you. You aren't getting rid of me that easily. So, enough of this 'avoid Harry' crap." He looked at his watch.

"Let me run home and bring back something for supper because you've got nothing to eat in this place and it's already six. Nothing much open at this hour on a Saturday."

"I think I'll rest while you're gone," Severus said, moving away from Harry and toward the bed.

Harry walked over and unlocked the door. "Oh, and Severus?"

"Hmm?" Severus turned toward him as he sat gingerly on the bed.

"Happy birthday."

Severus chuckled then immediately winced, holding his side. "Fuck, that hurt. I appreciate the salutations although I don't like being reminded that's I'm getting old." He shifted slightly then looked more comfortable again.

"You aren't old."

"You were planning on leaving soon, yes?" Severus said, changing the subject quite obviously, his expression bemused.

"Speaking of home." Harry hesitated by the door. "Mama says she's gonna come after you if you break my heart."

"Well, you tell your mother I've heard her warning and I will keep it under advisement."

"Severus?" Harry said softly, now a bit nervous. "I'd really like to talk about you and my mother sometime."

"We will." Severus paused. "Sometime."

Harry nodded and left, locking the door behind him as he left.

 

**I really wanted to write something for Severus's birthday in _this_ universe, since it's January 9, 1960. I love the idea that somewhere, in another universe, a different Severus Snape is being born on the very same day. Sadly, I'm about two weeks late. Ah, well. Better late than never.


	12. January, 1960--Director's Cut

**Title:** January, 1960—The Director's Cut  
**Pairing:** Severus/Harry  
**Word Count:** ~750  
**Rating:** NC-17  
**Warning:** Oral, frottage, hand job  
**Disclaimer:** Not mine. They belong to JKR.  
**A/N:** Unbeta'd. This is part of my [AU _Esse Quam Videri_ universe](http://torino10154.insanejournal.com/tag/esse+quam+videri+universe) and may not make a bit of sense if you are unfamiliar with it. Written because _someone_ said the boys needed to have sex. Who am I to argue with that? *g*

Harry had brought back a quart of milk as well as beef stew and fresh bread for supper. While Severus was clearly still sore, he'd taken some painkillers—a leftover prescription from what injury, Harry didn't know—and at least moved around the apartment easily now.

Content to just watch Severus for a while, Harry took up a place on the couch and pretended to read a magazine. His hair was getting longer, hanging into his eyes, still black as night at forty-three. His body long and lean, and Harry couldn't get enough of it.

"Are you done watching me?" Severus asked, his voice deep and seductive, sending a shiver up Harry's spine. He sat down next to Harry and ran a hand up his thigh, thumb just brushing his balls through the fabric.

"Christ, Severus," Harry said quietly, his legs splaying automatically as Severus unbuttoned his fly. Reaching out to him, Harry pulled Severus's face to his, sliding his tongue into his mouth, desperate to taste him again and again.

"Ouch, shit," Severus said suddenly, pulling away. "This isn't comfortable."

Harry stood and pulled Severus toward the bed. He unbuttoned Severus's shirt and helped him slide out of it so he wouldn't hurt his ribs. Then he knelt, and looking up into Severus's eyes, he slowly tugged his jeans off.

"Nothing on under?" Harry said as he moved a hand to Severus's cock, already hard and heavy before him. "Thought you might get lucky, huh?"

Severus's eyes glittered and he ran a hand through Harry's hair, stopping at the nape, urging his head forward. Harry grinned, taking the hint, and opened his mouth sucking the head of Severus's cock lightly. Severus moaned, rolling his hips forward and Harry gripped one of his hips to slow him, while his free hand wrapped around the base of Severus's cock, his lips meeting his fist as he bobbed his head.

Harry would have happily sucked Severus to completion, loving the taste of him as well as the pleasure he got from performing the act, but when Severus gasped, "Enough," Harry pulled off with a pop.

"I want to see you." Severus got on the bed and watched as Harry hurriedly stripped out of his clothes.

"Lie back," Harry said as he straddled Severus's thighs. He kept his weight off Severus's body but brought their cocks together, Severus's nice and slick with spit, and wrapped his hand around both of them together. Harry rocked forward, one hand next to Severus's on the pillow, keeping him up off his body, the other stroking them and they moved their hips together. Severus reached up and pulled Harry to him, his kisses desperate—all teeth and tongue, his breath coming in pants as Harry sped the motion of his hand.

"Fuck, Harry," Severus said, barely above a whisper as he thrust his hips forward, his face a rictus of pain and pleasure, his cock spurting as he grasped his side, squeezing his eyes shut. Harry's come coated hand flew over his own cock and he gritted his teeth as he spent himself on Severus's stomach, the ejaculate mixing with Severus's and painting the dark hair of his stomach white.

Panting heavily, Harry took a moment to catch his breath before asking, "You all right?"

"Not really," Severus replied, eyes still closed. "But it was worth it."

Harry clambered off Severus and went to the bathroom to clean himself and brought back a wet washcloth as well as a towel to dry Severus with so he wouldn't have to get up himself. Harry brought the warm cloth down gently and wiped up the mess, wrinkling his nose. Cold come was not his favorite thing in the world. He followed the wet cloth with the dry towel. He pulled the blankets up and tucked Severus in then took the dirty towels back into the bathroom.

He stood at the bathroom door for a moment and watched Severus, not sure whether he was sleeping or not. The chill of the room got to him eventually though and he slid into the bed next to him.

"You staying?" Severus asked, voice low and sleepy.

"If it's all right, I thought I might." Harry pressed an open-mouthed kiss to Severus's and received a lick across his teeth and a nip to his bottom lip in return.

Settling his head on Severus's shoulder, Harry felt a kiss to his forehead just as he drifted off to sleep, an unconscious smile spreading across his face.


	13. Anniversary, August 1963

"It's our sixth anniversary," Harry said into the mirror as he drew the razor down his cheek. He dipped the blade into the sink, the shaving cream and whiskers slipping off into the water. "Severus will never go for that."

"Go for what?" 

Harry looked at Severus's reflection as he stood in the doorway, unlit cigarette between his lips. His hair was tangled from sleep—as well as the wild night they'd had—and his face was rough from two days growth of beard. 

Getting back to shaving, Harry tipped his head back and tried not to nick his chin. "Just thinking. It's been about six years now. Hard to believe sometimes."

Severus stepped fully into the small bathroom and took his lighter from the window sill. Cracking the window open, he flicked the Zippo twice before it lit.

He inhaled deeply then exhaled out of the corner of his mouth, the smoke wafting out into the humid morning air.

"Maybe we should do something, then," he said before taking another drag off the cigarette. "Fishing trip sound good?"

Harry cocked his head. "Sound or ocean?" The sound was large, yes, but a trip to the seaside at least would make him feel like they were doing something out of the ordinary. Something special.

"If you want to go to the ocean—" Severus stood and pressed himself to Harry's back. "—we should wait till October. Fewer tourists."

Harry set the razor down on the edge of the sink and ground his hips back against Severus's erection. "Lemme finish shaving and then we'll talk about it?"

Severus laughed low in his throat. "Just talk?"

"I doubt you'll need convincing if I have something else in mind." 

"Damn right." Severus swatted Harry's ass and left. Harry heard the squeak of the bedsprings when Severus flopped back down on the bed, and tried not to grin as he hurriedly finished shaving.


	14. October, 1963

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Accioslash as part of my Anniversary drabbles but since it's part of this larger story, I can't really group it with the others.

Harry cast into the surf, waiting to see whether the tide carried the hook behind the waves. Once satisfied, he anchored the rod in the sand. The sun was just coming up over the horizon, a smattering of clouds painting the sky red and orange. There were only a few other fishermen out, about a half mile down the beach from them. That was one reason they liked this spot in particular: it was as close to private as one could get while on a public beach. 

Severus was just finishing casting his third line when Harry looked over toward him. His jeans were rolled halfway up his calves and his checked button-down shirt was so well-worn it was starting to fray at the cuffs. Harry wouldn't let him get rid of it because he loved it how it looked on Severus. 

One thing he'd never get used to, though, was seeing Severus in a fishing hat. There was something so utterly unsuitable about it, that Harry found it hysterical every time Severus wore it. Fortunately, it wasn't too often.

Sitting down next to his tackle box, Harry poured coffee from a Thermos into the lid and took a sip.

"Don't drink it all," Severus grumbled, brushing his sandy hands off on his jeans.

"Better let Mr. Grumpy have his first," Harry said, handing the cup to Severus. Severus finished the cup then handed it back to Harry. "More?"

Severus shook his head. "Not right now." He looked over at one of the lines. "Might have something."

Harry poured himself his own cup, watching as Severus reeled in a clump of seaweed and then recast.

Harry didn't actually care all that much for fishing but he did enjoy the ocean. The salt-scented breeze, warm sand under his feet, the crash of the waves....

"Nodding off again?" Severus said, sitting down next to Harry.

"Must have done," Harry replied, yawning. "Catch anything yet?"

"Had to throw one back." Severus lit a cigarette with difficulty, the wind doing its darnedest to prevent it. He sat quietly, staring out at the ocean. 

Harry wanted to ask what was going through his mind but after more than six years, he knew well enough when to push and when not to. Instead he reached into the bag he'd brought and pulled out an apple. 

When Harry was halfway through eating it, Severus put out his cigarette in the sand and reached into his shirt pocket.

"When I visited Mother last, she gave me this," Severus said. "It was my father's." Severus opened his fist and Harry saw a simple gold band. 

"It doesn't fit on any of my fingers. I figured you could try it," Severus went on, rubbing the back of his neck with his right hand, a nervous habit he had. "Or we could pawn it. Pretty sure it would cover the rent for a few months."

Harry knew his hand was trembling as he reached out to pick it up. He didn't dare try his ring finger which would just lead to questions he wouldn't want to answer. 

Maybe his right hand. Maybe his middle finger.

He slid it past the first knuckle not even sure if he was breathing. When he pushed it over the second knuckle, he exhaled. 

"Seems to fit," he somehow choked out past the lump in his throat. 

"That's good," Severus said, not looking at Harry. "I should check the line," he said, getting up quickly. 

Harry sat, heart hammering, as he watched Severus walk down to the shore line, turning the band around and around on his finger.


	15. New York City, December 1963

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for **Accioslash** as part of my Adventdrabbles but since it's part of this larger story, I can't group it with the others.

As they walked into St James Episcopal Church for the Christmas Eve service, Harry couldn't get over the size of it. Much larger than St Paul's back home. 

It was strange hearing a sermon from anyone but Reverend Dumbledore but he let the familiar passages and blessing comfort him. 

The best part, though, was hearing Severus's rich baritone singing _It Came Upon a Midnight Clear_ beside him, no one the wiser as to their true relationship. 

A flame was lit and shared from candle to candle until the church was filled with light and Harry's heart with the Christmas spirit.


End file.
